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Stop Giving Advice and Start Asking Better Questions

Jeremiah Luke Barnett
2 min readFeb 14, 2020

One of the biggest mistakes I made in my path to learning how to better communicate was learning how to articulate things too well.

I didn’t realize that often times when you’re trying to help someone the best thing that you can do is shut up and let them discover the thing that you’re trying to show them on their own.

When someone is able to discover something themselves it is always going to be more powerful than if you were to hand-deliver it to them.

One of the first times I ever succeeded in shutting up and asking better questions when trying to help someone, the person left the conversation feeling like I had been a big part of solving their problems when really all I had done was keep my mouth shut and ask a question here and there. Once they discovered what they needed through their own words, it struck them more powerfully than I ever could have with any of my own words or gestures.

If you want to help people and you feel like you have a lot to say and a lot to share instead of actually stating those things, try to think of them as goals that you’re trying to bring the other person to through questions of your own rather than statements.

Try using more questions and fewer statements if you’re really trying to help someone.

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